5 reasons it's more important to be 'different' than 'better'

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I have learned (both from study and experience) that the pursuit of “better” is often a dead end. Better is subjective, illusionary and can even be a trap that keeps you in a cycle of comparison.

On the other hand, “different” is often much more objective. To be categorically and undeniably different is a decision to step out of the herd and claim your unique space in the market.

I’ve seen it in business, leadership and life — and I know this truth: if you want to succeed at a high level, focus on being different and on communicating that difference to the marketplace. 

Better is subjective

When I first started my real estate brokerage, Amherst Madison, I made the common mistake of setting out to be “better” than the competition. Why? Because … that’s what everyone did. Call it ego or maybe just a lack of imagination.

Real estate as an industry is fueled by comparison, with everyone setting out to claim pole position as the “best.” I flailed and struggled to gain a foothold in the market for years until I understood that both my aim and my messaging were wrong. 

“Better” is subjective, vague and not necessarily tied directly to your values, your mission or your reasons for starting a company in the first place. One person’s “better” is another person’s “not for me.”

The problem with competing on “better” is that it forces you to play by someone else’s (your competitor’s) rules. You find yourself measuring success by standards you didn’t create, chasing approval that might never come.

Think about it: in any industry, everyone is shouting, “We’re better!” Better service. Better pricing. Better results. It’s just noise. People tune it out because it’s meaningless unless it directly connects with their specific needs or values.

When I realized that my brokerage couldn’t — and wouldn’t — be all things to all people, and when we shifted our target audience and message accordingly, then we started to build real momentum. We focused on being authentic and unique. 

If you find yourself obsessing over how to be better than your competition, stop. Instead, ask yourself: what makes you different? Better will always depend on who’s judging, but different? Different stands on its own.

Different is just different

Here’s what I’ve learned about being different: it’s not about being the best at something someone else created. It’s about creating something entirely new.

When I started my brokerage, I wasn’t interested in following the traditional brokerage model. It wasn’t enough to simply tweak the existing formula and claim to be “better.” Instead, I built something fundamentally different — something that reflected our values, our vision and our belief in elevating the real estate industry.

Perhaps more directly, we built something based on our belief that people can change, people can learn and people can improve themselves as well as their circumstances in life. 

Different is just different. It’s not subject to debate or interpretation. It’s a declaration. Take Tesla’s Cybertruck as an example. When it launched, people mocked its design. Critics laughed at it. But now, it’s a symbol of bold innovation, and its success is undeniable. Whether you like it or not, it’s impossible to ignore. That’s the power of being different.

I’ve seen this in my own journey. Being different means you don’t wait for the market to validate your vision — you create something so compelling that the market can’t help but take notice. It’s not about pleasing everyone. It’s about finding your people, your niche and leaning into it unapologetically.

The system is set up to test you

If you’ve ever stepped out of the norm and declared yourself different, you’ve probably experienced criticism. Resistance. Pushback. I know I have. The moment you say, “I’m different,” people will try to pull you back into the herd. That’s just how the system works. It’s set up to test you. Don’t be surprised by it.

When I raised my hand in the marketplace and said that we were going to do things differently, I was met with brutal competition, lawsuits, defamation and even personal attacks. It felt like the world was conspiring to make me quit. But here’s the truth: the system isn’t personal. It’s designed to separate those who truly believe in their vision from those who don’t. You will be tested. 

Here’s the critical lesson: don’t interpret resistance as a sign you’re on the wrong path. Tests are part of the process. They’re there to sharpen you, to make you stronger, to prepare you for what lies ahead. The only way you fail is if you quit. So, expect the tests, embrace them and keep moving forward.

Tell your story, or someone else will

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is this: if you don’t tell your story, someone else will. And trust me, they won’t tell it the way you’d want them to.

For a long time, I thought my work would speak for itself. I assumed people would naturally understand who I was and what I stood for. I was wrong. If you don’t own your story, others will define it for you — and they’ll twist it to serve their own agenda.

Your story is your power. It’s what makes you different. It’s the foundation of your brand, your business, your life. But telling your story requires courage. It means standing in front of the world and saying, “This is who I am. This is why I do what I do.”

It’s not easy, but it’s necessary. And when you tell your story authentically, you build trust, credibility, and connection.

Focus on your path

Every path is different. I’ve learned this the hard way. I’ve faced setbacks, failures, and detours that I never saw coming. But here’s the thing: success isn’t about following someone else’s map. It’s about forging your own path, no matter how hard or unconventional it might be.

There’s a dangerous game we all play when we encounter challenges. We start thinking, “It’s not supposed to be this hard.” But who decides what’s “supposed” to happen? There’s no rulebook that says success should come easily or quickly. It takes what it takes. And everyone’s journey is unique.

The key is to stay focused on your purpose. Know your “why.” For me, my “why” has always been about building something meaningful — something that serves others and aligns with my values. When you’re clear on your purpose, you can weather any storm. You can push through the hard times because you know what you’re fighting for.

Being different isn’t just a strategy. It’s a mindset. It’s a commitment to authenticity, perseverance, and purpose. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it will test you. But in the end, it’s worth it. So, stop chasing “better.” Instead, focus on what makes you different. Tell your story. Embrace the tests and stay true to your path — because that’s where true success lies.