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I don’t know about you, but when I don’t meditate, it’s because it’s boring. It’s slow. It’s hard. Being distracted, on the other hand, is easy.
Checking my phone after it buzzes? That is easy. And even if it’s just another spam text from someone looking for “a referral partner to take all their extra buyers and sellers for just a 15% fee,” it still feels like scratching an itch.
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In fact, some mornings, if I don’t have any place I am supposed to be, I’ll lie in bed scrolling until I do. You and I have the world’s most addictive distraction device the world has ever conceived at our fingertips almost all the time.
It’s hard to stay on a diet at Ben and Jerry’s, and it’s hard to break away when Candy Crush and Instagram are always right there.
Distractions are everywhere
In the last 20 years, the numbers have been mind-boggling (literally). In the early 2000s, the world generated something like 0.1 Zettabytes of data. By 2010, that number increased to two zettabytes (a 20X increase), and by 2023 to 120 zettabytes (another 60X).
Not only is being distracted easy, but it’s also attractive. I know I look forward to shutting down my critical thinking and watching Love Is Blind with my wife at the end of the day.
Be clear: I’m not saying mindless distractions are “bad,” in moderation; they provide value. I consider a cigar and a bourbon while watching football my self-care routine, so don’t get the wrong idea.
On the other hand, mindfulness is slow, boring and difficult, so without some compelling context, it has no chance to stick.
We know ‘easy’ sells
I know I’m swimming upstream on this — selling a solution that is hard, slow and boring is just not good marketing (and that’s precisely why, while every coach in the world tells you that having a positive mindset matters, none tell you how to get one — because if they told you, you wouldn’t buy it).
Just look at the wave of tech companies going after our business with the singular benefit of making buying and selling homes easier.
We recognize those easy solutions are not better when they’re trying to take our business. When we look at our clients, we know that attempting to turn homebuying into ordering DoorDash is an insane, and maybe even dangerous, objective.
Some things are better done slowly, intentionally and, dare I say, mindfully.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die
Now, tell the truth. Do you want the benefits of meditation (increased focus, less reactivity, more satisfaction, peace of mind, improved performance and effectiveness, etc.), but the thought of sitting for 10 minutes a day is just a bridge too far?
Mostly, people don’t meditate for the same reasons they choose pills and injections (and sometimes surgery) over diet and exercise. One is easy, and the other is hard. But the easy fix rarely lasts, and the hard thing is hard because we are not yet the person who can do it. By doing the hard thing, we become that new kind of person.
Moving from knowing I should do something to doing the thing is hard. Thinking about working out and working out are different things (just like thinking about calling our leads and calling our leads are different things). One produces more of what we already have, and the other produces more of what we want.
If you already practice resistance or cardio training, yoga, Pilates or any other intentional physical activity, you already understand where this is going. You’ve experienced pressing through initial resistance and the benefits of the growth that comes with that.
While the brain is not a muscle, we can talk about it like it is. It changes and grows through mental exercises, just as we grow muscles through physical practices.
One way to cause this growth (called neuroplasticity) is through mindfulness practices, including meditation.
There have been thousands of studies since the early 1970s showing that mindfulness practices change your brain, leading to:
- Increased attention and focus
- Reduce stress/control anxiety
- Increase in experience of gratitude, joy, fulfillment, and satisfaction
- Improved memory
- Enhanced personal relationships
There is so much public conversation about ADHD and how distracted we are, and yet, the science is clear: 10 minutes a day in some mindful practice can make a difference. But like diet and exercise, getting there is hard, slow and boring. It just is. At least in the beginning.
It never gets easier. You just get better
Look, meditation is certainly not complicated. I’ve written about the myths and misconceptions of mindfulness before. We’re talking about 10 minutes a day of sitting quietly.
The Buddhists often joke that you should meditate for 20 minutes a day unless you’re too busy, in which case you should meditate for an hour. If you can’t find the 10 minutes to train, heal, develop and grow your brain, you need more help than this post will provide.
All this requires is being interested in getting a little better every day, stacking the wins and leveraging the power of compound interest accruing in your brain. Starting anything is a thing in itself. It always requires breaking up the status quo — whether starting a new habit or getting out of bed, you need to break up with the current situation and create a new one.
Mel Robbins has a genius method called the 5-second rule, which has been powerful for me. I highly recommend it if you need that nudge to act. Guided meditations are easy to find all over the internet.
Be patient and forgiving with yourself
We all have a Ph.D. in being hard on ourselves. Most of us are masters in beating ourselves up, judging ourselves harshly, holding ourselves to impossible standards, etc. This is a break from that, and frankly, if that’s all mindfulness provided, it would be worth it.
Being kind, patient and forgiving with yourself is the floor, the foundation, the first thing that you will practice (and you will never stop). Progress may be slow, and distractions will occur. You’ll miss opportunities to be mindful, you’ll skip days you were committed to practicing, and you are 100 percent guaranteed not to get it done to whatever standard you think right now you need to.
This will happen, and the actual mindfulness practice is accepting these as part of the process rather than seeing them as failures.
The entire point of meditation is not to “empty the mind” but to notice the distractions — the moment you notice you’re distracted, you’re present. And the more you practice, the shorter the intervals of distracted living become. As the ancient sages say, every journey starts with a single step.
Embracing the journey
Of course, meditation and mindfulness are challenging — everything is hard until it’s easy — but their long-term benefits make the effort worthwhile. By reframing our understanding of these practices and acknowledging their difficulty while recognizing their impact — we can create an easier path to integrating mindfulness into our lives.
Embrace both mindful and mindless activities. Find your balance, and be gentle with yourself while you are.
Practice being non-judgmental, starting with how you judge yourself. Meditation is a great way to practice mindfulness, but many other ways exist to integrate mindfulness into your daily life.
Aaron Hendon’s extensive experience in real estate and entrepreneurship has given him a unique perspective on how to navigate even the most unstable market conditions. Connect with Aaron on Instagram and LinkedIn.
