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Breaking bad news: How to have tough client conversations

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This post was updated Nov. 12, 2024.

A soft skill you need to master as an agent (and no worries you will have plenty of opportunity) is the fine art of breaking bad news to clients. Real estate transactions are nuanced and complicated, and there will be many instances where portions of the transaction or even the entire transaction will be wrought with bad news or poor outcomes. 

As an agent, you will do your very best to stay ahead of the chaos, but much of it will be out of your control. Learning how to talk to your clients and your colleagues about the issues or outcomes that are less than favorable will be critical to the success of your career. Here are three critical steps you need to take to be prepared to deliver bad news.

Set appropriate expectations

Make sure to set up an initial conversation with clients about transaction management, common pitfalls, and potential hurdles that they may encounter. Doing this in advance of issues will give you a baseline to refer back to when things go sideways.

Provide written disclosures and educational tools in multiple formats for your clients to refer to. Let them know that if something does go wrong, you will contact them with their options. 

Setting the expectations up front will help establish realistic expectations and healthy boundaries between you and your clients. 

One critical part of this consultation is to talk about the possibility of offers falling apart and how you and your clients would like to handle it. If an offer falls apart or doesn’t get accepted what strategies would they like you to enlist to help resolve the issue? 

Milestones and accountability

Providing a simple timeline of milestones that you will need to reach during the transaction will be a helpful tool for keeping parties accountable for their roles in the transaction. You can do this with a simple checklist or email updates throughout the transaction. When coaches and mentors talk about appropriate communication and documentation, this is what they are referring to. 

Have your broker or experienced administrator help you create your transaction milestone timeline. You will need to customize this to your state and even for your personal preferences. This is a great opportunity for you to stand out in the crowd.

Providing milestones also allows you to create “if this” and “then we will do this” next-step scenarios. 

This is also a helpful tool for outlining potential issues. 

  • Example 1: If the home does not appraise, here is what might happen.
  • Example 2: If the seller does not show up to closing, here is what might happen.
  • Example 3: If you do not agree to the HOA terms, here is what your options are.

Presenting the bad news

When you deliver the bad news, make sure you are calm and as peaceful as possible. Also, make sure you are in a location where the conversation is not interrupted and you are not distracted. Your clients will need your full attention. 

Be prepared for your clients to be upset and possibly have an emotional reaction. Do not interrupt them while they are reacting, and give them space to receive the news and process it. After they react calmly, explain their options. If they are still upset, offer to set up a meeting with your management team. 

This step is key. Too many agents try to handle everything themselves, and in these situations, this is where you should lean on your management team. They are there to help you navigate conditions, and many consumers appreciate the opportunity to speak with someone other than you.  Some will calm down and not need the management meeting and be ready to tackle the issue.

Be honest. If you agree that it’s a terrible and unfair situation feel free to express that, and that you are as upset and concerned as they are. Sometimes validation can go a long way.

Remember that many people do not have “emotional regulation” tools in their toolbox, and they may have really overinflated reactions to situations that are not entirely appropriate or may even seem dramatic.

Real estate transactions are extremely stressful, and this stress sometimes makes clients not the best version of themselves. The National Health Institute released a study about how additional stressful life events can have a cascading effect on mind and body health. Therefore, remember to use kid gloves when handling clients. 

After you have devised a plan, make sure to send in writing what went wrong, the steps you took to resolve it, and your next steps for solving the problem. 

Reassure your clients that you are available to answer any other questions or concerns they may have after you end the call, as they have more time to think about the issue.

As you work to resolve the issue make sure you send them an update at least every 24 hours via a call or text and an email. Even if you don’t have an update, update them that you are still waiting on answers. This communication is valuable in a difficult situation. Follow up often, and follow through as best you can. Deliver additional updates as diplomatically as possible.

Final thoughts

Sometimes transactions will completely explode. Your client relationship may be the collateral damage. I specifically make sure I try to bring calm and peaceful energy into my day when I know that I have difficult hurdles ahead for my clients. 

My interactions with my clients go much more smoothly when I’m well-rested and not overly caffeinated, and I have plenty of time to plan and review notes before I meet when them or call them. Be prepared, have a plan and remember that self-care isn’t just a trend; it’s good hygiene so you can show up as the best version of yourself for your clients when they are having a bad news kind of day. 

No one likes a pushy, disconnected, distracted, egotistical salesperson who is not interested in their clients’ personal issues. Be the sage guide your clients need, on good days and on bad days, and you will build lifelong referral relationships that will become a solid foundation for your business and future career. 

Rachael Hite is a business development specialist, fair housing advocate, copy editor, and former agent. Rachael is currently perfecting her long game selling forever homes in a retirement community in Northern Virginia. You can connect with her about life, marketing and business on Instagram.