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Personal confession: I’m not a big fan of reality TV, but I do consider myself an armchair anthropologist, and I can appreciate a good cup of “tea,” so I curled up on my ancient couch last weekend and proceeded to binge Selling Sunset’s Season 8.
Plunging necklines, bold colors, high heels and perfectly manicured nails are all part of the Selling Sunset vibe, but they have also been ingrained into the sales model or the culture of the Oppenheim Group. I mean, they are not hiring just anyone off the street to work in their office, right?
Real talk — I have major admiration for the time, money and effort these ladies invest into their self-care and wardrobes, as someone who can barely match my belt to my shoes. It takes thousands in your budget to even look the part to sell multimillion dollar homes.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to ascertain that their outward appearance has everything to do with whether they get the sale or not, so I was surprised to see a conversation about “professionalism” rear its ugly head at the end of Episode 2.
High fashion, High stakes
In Episode 2, Chelsea Lazkani shows up to a high-profile open house that she is co-brokering with Mary Bonnet wearing high fashion, and in Mary’s perspective “no pants.”
Chelsea’s suit, which featured a very conservative suit jacket and a flirty short shirt with what looked like cheerleading briefs beneath, garnered some negative feedback from her colleagues who were also attending the broker’s open.
Women receive more negative feedback. Is it science?
Mary receives some negative feedback about Chelsea’s lack of pants from colleagues. Jason and Brett Oppenheim are there, so Mary brings the issue to their attention first and then decides to loop them both into a confrontation with Chelsea about her outfit.
It’s important to note that both men were incredibly uncomfortable about even approaching the situation; they “skirt” around the issue until eventually landing on the idea that if Chelsea’s outfit is making others uncomfortable, she should tone it down.
It’s high drama and toxic feminine energy at its best. Fans of the show will remember that Mary has had previous issues with Chelsea, and it’s hard not to assume that she is bringing that beef into this confrontation.
It’s not uncommon for women to bully other women, thus the mean girls dynamic, but what I loved about this moment is how Chelsea set appropriate boundaries with Mary during the confrontation.
- This isn’t the time or space to address this.
- If you are “for the girls,” you would have this conversation personally and not loop in men.
In a later interview with Newsweek about the episode, Chelsea said that she was running behind for the open, knew the outfit was a little on the line, but decided to run with it anyway because the top was very conservative.
“Yeah, you know why? I was like, first of all, I’m not going to bring out another outfit from my purse so leave me alone, ’cause if I can’t bring out — I’m a problem-solution type person, if I can’t just bring out another outfit from my purse, then this is what you got and let’s just work it — let’s talk about this later,” she told Newsweek.
A new study from the software company Texito, shows that high-profile women in management positions receive 76 percent more negative feedback than their male counterparts.
The study revealed that women receive more superficial and less actionable feedback about their personality, and if they are easy, pleasant or fun to work with.
The feedback Chelsea is receiving at this moment from management is that she made a poor fashion/business decision, and she is being difficult to work with because she is pushing back against the feedback. In a word, the entire situation was inappropriate, not Chelsea’s pants.
When was the last time you saw a group of men circle up their colleagues to tell them that their 5-inch inseams were not appropriate? They are just called a Zaddy; everyone has a good laugh, and things carry forward.
Screw the pants. Here is the real problem
Women are culturally conditioned to compete against each other before they are to support each other. Blame evolution, but I blame the patriarchy — and until we are willing to acknowledge this, we will always have mean girls. Women’s bodies will always be subject matter for chaos and control; their work and their work ethic will still be second to their actual talent.
I said what I said. It’s not about the pants. Chelsea’s job calls for fashion and hot looks, and she is doing exactly what she needs to do, or she wouldn’t be on the show.
From the West Coast to the East Coast, it doesn’t matter where you are, what you are wearing will always be a topic of conversation when you are a woman working in sales. It sucks. Are you frumpy? Are you boring? Is it yoga pants? Maybe your top is too tight? Hair too bright? Nails too long? Tattoos showing? Breast size too big or too small? The list goes on and on.
Over the years, in many a forum, women have detailed encounters with their peers, consumers and their bosses, all around what they were wearing and what their body did for the transaction.
It’s 2024, and I’m sick of having this conversation, but the reality is you have to play the game to stay in the game. In other words, you have to figure out how to best position yourself to work in sales in your market, and your personal style has a great deal to do with your success.
What women do have control over is their ability to lift each other up instead of pulling each other down. Who wears the pants? Most days, mine are pleated, but I get bonus points if I’m wearing a pretty pink dress for my clients. I dress for them because I need them to “know, like and trust,” and our culture says that my clothes play a critical role in this. That’s a hard pill to swallow most days.
Just remember, before you judge another woman by how she looks or what she wears, we are all just playing the game. Every time you pull another woman down, you make the game harder on yourself.
Rachael Hite is a business development specialist, fair housing advocate, copy editor, and former agent. Rachael is currently perfecting her long game selling forever homes in a retirement community in Northern Virginia. You can connect with her about life, marketing and business on Instagram.
