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Have you noticed how “demure” everyone is these days? Everyone’s recording themselves being low-key cool, calm, collected, and, of course, stylishly modest while talking about being “very demure,” “very mindful,” “very cutesy.”
It’s the latest social media microtrend. Celebrities like RuPaul, Jennifer Lopez, Lance Bass, and Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan have posted demure videos, and even Vice President Kamala Harris and Merriam-Webster can’t seem to resist it.
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You might be asking yourself: Why is this a trend right now? What is a microtrend? Should I be doing this on my social media?
For agents trying to stay in front of their audience in a fun and meaningful way — dissecting TikTok trends can be complicated. Let’s get into what micro-trends are, how this trend started and my three golden rules for deciding whether a trend is worth incorporating into your marketing strategy.
Background and context
A micro-trend is typically when something beauty or fashion-related picks up momentum on social media. The trend emerges fast and usually leaves just as quickly, and the next microtrend emerges.
The “demure” trend began with trans TikTok influencer Jools Lebron making a series of videos about how they stay “demure” and professional in the workplace.
@joolieannie #fyp #demure @OAKCHA @Paul | Fragrance Influencer ♬ original sound – Jools Lebron
Lebron emphasizes in a “cutesy” way that you have to bypass authenticity and adapt to your surroundings to avoid calling unnecessary attention to yourself.
It’s also important to understand the context of where the influencer is coming from. For example, Lebron created this trend as a nod to the internet dolls in the trans community, who are constantly up against social and political pressures.
This trend is not like the “Hawk-Tua” trend, which isn’t demure, elegant, mindful or very respectful.
It’s the ultimate “be vanilla” to show that you’ve got it together — because who could have an issue with someone who is low-key trying to have an organized, professional, mindful existence and appearance?
But in true Gen Z and Gen Alpha fashion, this trend turned toward sarcasm and satire, calling out both the ridiculousness of having to be demure and also saying that those who are just too loud or trying too hard should be demure.
Define it: Demure, an adjective that means reserved, modest, or serious.
So far, we are seeing agents jump on this trend to describe how they run their businesses and call out other agents who are not prepared and create chaos in transactions. Workarounds on commissions? Not very demure or mindful.
Fail-safe system for evaluating trends
Like any microtrend, you need to weigh the pros and cons of being associated with it. I have been coaching and teaching about social media trends for real estate agents since 2012, and there are three golden rules I follow when it comes to trends:
- Research and understand the trend to make sure you understand the context.
- Weigh the pros and cons of the trend against the mission of the brand. Ask yourself: What is the mission of the “trendy” post, and is it beneficial to the goal? Is this worth being attached to my personal digital footprint forever?
- Can you explain the trend to your grandma without being embarrassed. (You should have seen me explaining the Hawk-Tua trend to my grandma.)
As far as trends go, this one is pretty tame, and since it hints about professionalism, it could be a fun space to add a little humor into your marketing if that is part of your brand.
Parting thoughts and wisdom
What are we, as a culture, saying at this moment? That if you want to be taken seriously, you have to pull yourself together, but also, is it really essential to be taken seriously? I’ve written numerous articles about what one should or should not wear, and if it’s even ethical to ask someone to change who they are “sell” to the right client.
If you are on a mission to get things done at work with the least amount of friction and frustration, you may have to give in and be demure, mindful and modest. I work with seniors, and my clients get excited when I wear a nice pair of pleated slacks and pearls.
I’ve been dress-coded several times in life, since I was 16. Even most recently, there have been discussions about toning it down, staying modest, being professional.
Bright colors, animal prints, plaid pants, how I style my hair, if I wear comfortable shoes, the length of my skirt are all topics of discussion and a “problem” to solve.
Throw in your current weight and how much makeup you have on (too much you look like a clown, not enough you look tired or sick), and you have a typical day just interacting with the public at large. This is the joy of being a woman in corporate workspaces; everything is up for public commentary.
So go ahead, try and be demure or not demure. The next micro-trend will be here before you know it.
Rachael Hite is a business development specialist, fair housing advocate, copy editor, and former agent. Rachael is currently perfecting her long game selling forever homes in a retirement community in Northern Virginia. You can connect with her about life, marketing and business on Instagram.
