9 ways to get your confidence back when you lose your mojo

This article was last updated Dec. 8, 2023.

Losing your mojo is tough. Been there. Done that. Haven’t we all? Is there anyone who hasn’t had a time or two (or more) in their lives where things feel like they are going more wrong than right? Of course. That’s called being a human. Anyone can find themselves in a dark place for a bit; the trick is to not unpack your bags and reside there.  

I love the reminder by the folks at Psychology Today who tell us, “Strong feelings aren’t your enemy.” In other words, our emotions are meant to act as our guideposts, right? Sometimes they get a little cross-wired, but generally, they are there to keep you safe. 

For real estate professionals in today’s world, I’d say it is more than normal and natural to have anxiety creep in on occasion, especially in the last few years. It’s been quite the roller coaster of emotions, learning curves, and fear.  

Did you know there’s a whole section in the free dictionary devoted to FEAR acronyms? How wild is that?

Here are a few I pulled that I think you might like… 

• False Evidence Appearing Real
• False Expectations About Reality
• For Everything a Reason
• Feeling Excited and Ready
• Face Everything And Recover
• Face Everything and Respond

Fear is natural — everyone has it. The idea is to move past it so that even if you have fear, it doesn’t have you. Don’t allow fear to lock you up and keep you from doing the things you want to do or being the person you want to be. 

When your mojo is a little wonky, try these tips: 

1. Acknowledge your feelings

It’s OK to feel down about yourself sometimes. Don’t try to bottle up your emotions or push them away. Acknowledge how you’re feeling and give yourself time to process those emotions. 

2. Find a support system

Whether it’s your friends, family, or colleagues, having a supportive network is crucial. Sometimes all you need is a shoulder or someone to lend a listening ear. 

3. Take care of yourself

When was the last time you treated yourself? Whether it’s getting a massage, going for a walk in the park, simply taking time to read a book or getting some fresh air, do something nice for yourself. You deserve it!  

4. Set small goals

Trying to accomplish too much at once can be daunting and leave you feeling overwhelmed. Break down your goals into small, manageable pieces. Not only will this help you stay focused, but you’ll also feel a sense of accomplishment as you check items off your list. 

5. Be patient with yourself

Change takes time. Be patient with yourself, and don’t expect miracles overnight. Just keep chugging along and know that things will improve in time. 

6. Live in the present

Listen, nothing lasts, neither the good nor the bad. Stay focused on the here and now and practice gratitude for the gifts you’re already living. 

7. Celebrate the wins

Here’s the thing about focus — when you head into the day or week looking for the wins (as opposed to the missteps), you’ll find more of them.

Not long ago, we started the practice on our Monday Coaching Calls to ask everyone at once to share their wins of the week. It’s such an empowering way to start a Monday.

Wins look different for everyone, too, right? A win might be a new listing, contract or sale, but it also might look like picking up the phone and facing a fear, knocking on a door or making a new contact. Look for the wins! 

8. Remember, you’re a work in progress

What you do or who you are now is not the pinnacle of your life. You, like everyone else, are a work in progress. As such, you get a new 24 hours every day to put your positive touch on the life you want to live. Use all the colors, and paint yourself a masterpiece.

9. Surprise yourself

Do something totally out of character. Out of the ordinary. Unexpected. Maybe a little crazy (for you). Sometimes the best thing you can do to shake yourself out of a rut is to totally lean into something you’d never do. I’m not suggesting jumping out of an airplane or climbing a mountain — unless you want to. (That’s totally out of my comfort zone.)

But maybe take a new path to work. Eat at a new restaurant. Buy tickets to a show. Go see a movie in the middle of the day. Whatever it is — do something you would not normally do. Sometimes it’s just the trick for shaking a mood.

Don’t worry so much about your mojo. Focus more on your joy. Your mojo will be influenced by the amount of bandwidth you give your joy and your well-being. On a recent coaching call, this topic came up, and I told our members to remember that their mental well-being is a valuable resource. It’s like currency — or time. You have to be cognizant of how you spend it or if you waste it. 

Give yourself a break. Give yourself grace. Remember, you’re only human.

Then, lean into who you are, who you serve, how you can help and what’s going right. The mojo will take care of itself when you do.