You’d think the authors of creepy sci-fi novels might appreciate homes with a little … character, shall we say … but not Jeff VanderMeer, author of cult classics like the best-selling Annihilation and the apocalyptic biotech thriller Borne.
The Florida-based author of more than a dozen novels posted a series of messages on his Twitter account Monday about his recent house-hunting experiences, including some sub-optimal features worth avoiding.
Those selling homes — or others assisting a client with a sale — would do well to take advice from VanderMeer on some design elements best left to the so-called “New Weird” literary genre he helped conceive:
While house-hunting, things we saw = not good: House w/ skins of animals hunter had killed embedded as *wallpaper*; 7 mini-bar areas themed by country (in most cliched way) scattered around house; backyard replaced by inexplicable uneven concrete slabs; hot tub next to toilet.
— Jeff VanderMeer (@jeffvandermeer) July 2, 2018
Saddest one had an amazing upstairs but the downstairs was vile. And it was clear a relative was relegated to the downstairs at some point.
— Jeff VanderMeer (@jeffvandermeer) July 2, 2018
Oddly, there was a huge marble slab in the middle of the open layout upstairs between kitchen and living room….and THEN a marble kitchen island. And the slab had no drawers or anything. It was so odd.
— Jeff VanderMeer (@jeffvandermeer) July 2, 2018
Now the question is: how many of these homes will find willing buyers? Given that we’re in the midst of an historic inventory shortage, I’m not counting any out.
As for agents, moving any of these challenging listings should be a badge of honor.
